I know I know, I haven’t posted in 2-3 weeks but let’s be honest, no one is really reading these but I’m still gonna do these posts. I’ll try and get back on track with posts but don’t expect a post every day or something.
Today’s post is about the new “Air58 Mouse” by finalmouse. These are the mice that “Ninja” (the most popular streamer on Twitch) has endorsed. But before I get into the meat of this story let’s take it back to the start.
Ninja tweeted that some serious crap was about to go down on December the 1st (not his actual words) involving Finalmouse. Let’s stop right there. As soon as we saw this tweet, we all thought the exact same thing: Who the hell is Finalmouse and what the hell do they do? I mean I put two and two together in my head and assumed they sell mice (which they do). In fact, they only sell mice. If you go over to their website, you can see that mice are all they sell. To be honest, Finalmouse are so confident in what they sell that they’ve dubbed it as “THE BEST ESPORTS MOUSE IN THE WORLD” which is a huge leap, and I’m wondering who the hell said that considering no one even heard of these guys until Ninja tweeted about it.
Let’s explore their older products. In fact, there were three: The Ultralight Pro, The Ultralight Sunset and the Ultralight Phantom. In fact, I’m going to join the “Ultralight Pro” and the “Ultralight Sunset” into one product, since they essentially are the same product but the sunset version is a limited edition version, which is orange and has some fancy writing on it. They described this mouse as “The end game for eSports mice,” one that “Professional Gamers all over the world will utilize for years to come.” Well actually they wrote “Professional Gamer’s” which is grammatically incorrect so I thought I’d fix that for you, thank me later. The mouse is at a surprisingly low 67g which I won’t lie, is quite good. My mouse (G502 Proteus Spectrum) weighs about 168g which is a lot heavier. However, I don’t really have a problem with this. Never have I said to myself “Oh wow I need a lighter mouse because that will definitely improve my gaming reflexes.” Though to be honest, I haven’t used an ultralight weight mouse before so maybe I will be able to tell the difference. I won’t comment on the need for a lightweight mouse due to this fact. My main problem is the marketing, which I’ll go into in a minute.
So what about the Ultralight Phantom? It’s pretty much the same product. The difference is they have a new “Phantomcord.” Which is just fancy for “We have a wire that doesn’t weigh much and has little resistance.” Never have I been restricted by my mouse’s wire but sure, let’s go with it. The mouse itself is the same (just with a starry reskin).
Nonetheless, I was intrigued. I won’t lie, I was excited. Can you blame me? The marketing done for this mouse was insane! I was hyped for December 1st for Finalmouse to reveal their new game changing product. Let’s explore some of the marketing finalmouse did for their product.
The following Video is tweeted by finalmouse, and it’s a short animation. I’ll let you guys watch the video:
“Valley of the Air” – Based on a true story.
This is the story of how we discovered the truth alongside @ninja and finally bridged two worlds.
On December 1st we will share this truth with you in person and shift the consciousness.
RT for a chance to be flown out to the popup pic.twitter.com/3XfxVn1uYr
— Finalmouse (@finalmouse) November 27, 2018
They went on further to say that it won’t be branded:
How many times we gotta say it’s not branded. This is beyond branding. This is going to be a museum piece.
— Finalmouse (@finalmouse) November 26, 2018
So after that video I was pretty hyped, I thought this product, whatever it is, is going to be crazy. They then went on to say this:
You thought this was still about mice? This is our time. The next century is our time.
— Finalmouse (@finalmouse) November 27, 2018
On November 29th Ninja teamed up with Finalmouse to tease the product with the following video tweet:
— Finalmouse (@finalmouse) November 30, 2018
Now we actually know what the product is, it’s a mouse. The marketing was insane. Finalmouse made it sound like every unit they sell will come with a personal Ray Gun you can use to shoot your childhood bully with. They made it sound like you get a god damn master-ball you can use to YEET at the girl or guy of your dreams and have forever. Naturally, I’m doubting the hype. What can a mouse do that the leading gaming-mice doesn’t already do? Then again, I thought “That’s the point, this mouse is being marketed like crazy. It’s going to be nuts, it’s going to be game changing!” And just like that, my hype was back. I was excited. I thought this mouse was going to have RGB lights that sync up with the frequency of the waves coming from your brain so that you can control it with your mind or something. I thought this mouse is going to have a built in Cortana to say “BILLY FOR GOD SAKE YOU’RE SUCH A BOT” everytime you die to a remotely good player in Fortnite (Don’t lie, you all do it). Obviously I’m over exaggerating, but I was genuinely hyped.
Also I’d like to point out how Ninja asked how finalmouse is going to outlive the hype of their old product. Excuse me? What hype? There isn’t nobody anywhere in the world who has heard of finalmouse ’till Ninja talked about it. LETS NOT BE LYING TO ANYONE HERE.
Come December 1st. The day we’ve all been waiting for. The reveal and release of the mouse. What is it? Well, don’t worry you don’t need to do the research. I spent blood sweat and tears to do it myself! I totally did not get Billy to do it for me…
Revealing the all new Ninja Air58 mouse! The new Air58 mouse has the following game changing features:
- 9 grams shaved off their former Ultralight Pro (now weighing 58grams)
- The Phantomcord!
- “Ninja air58” inscribed onto the mouse
- Handmade haiku-scrolls for the scroll-wheel.
- Two side buttons (like every other mouse you can get north of £10)
- Nothing else
- Wait that’s it?
- For real that’s it?
Not gonna lie, I slapped Billy for doing the worst research ever. There’s gotta be more to this product that everyone was hyped about. So… I conducted the research myself.
Billy wasn’t lying. I slapped him again because of the poor marketing Finalmouse did. I had to unleash my rage somewhere.
Now don’t get me wrong. A mouse that weights 58g is crazy light and that’s awesome. But you want me to pay $89.99 for a mouse that’s…. light? SO THIS IS THE HYPE WE WERE ALL WAITING ON? PEOPLE WERE WAITING IN LINE FOR A GODDAMN LEIGHTWEIGHT MOUSE?
… Okay, breathe. I won’t talk ill of the mouse itself because it’s a cool idea. I mean sure it looks like the croc-equivalent of mice, but it’s super lightweight. My main problem is the marketing. That’s the only issue with this entire finalmouse episode. I, and several others, were led to believe that this product was going to be so game changing, and that the product will revolutionize the industry. They described it as the bridge between two worlds. They described it as “the next century is our time”. They gave us a lightweight mouse…
Furthermore, even though they said that there would be no branding, they branded it anyway. I don’t really have a problem with the branding it’s not really a big deal. But if you say you’re not going to do something, don’t do it. That’s just basic logic right?
That’s the entire thing I saw with this mouse. An extremely over-marketed product that gave an extremely underwhelming result. The mouse is extremely underwhelming for the marketing that was done for it. I definitely won’t buy the new mouse (although I know a tonne of people will) and will stick to my G502 which I love more than my own soul.
This is definitely different to most of the articles I’ve written before (Most? I’ve written three others but shh). I felt like I had to explore this topic because honestly, it was quite possibly the biggest flop since Titanfall. (No offense Titanfall, we all know it’s true).
Thanks for reading, and as always; stay woke gamers.
PS. 0 Billys were harmed in the making of this article. We treat our Billy with respect.